If someone had told me last summer that I’d be able to post the above comparison photos I wouldn’t have just laughed, I’d have done what I always do and made a joke of it, in a bid to convince whoever was in ear shot that I was happy. Inside though, I’d have been hating myself for ‘knowing’ I’d always be a ‘big girl’.
I’m 50lbs down from when I started at Slimming World in August – the photo below was taken a couple of weeks after starting SW, so I was about half a stone down. I felt great for it, but didn’t believe how big I was until I saw it. However – 50lbs down or not – it’s fair to say I’ve been beating myself up about December. Since 14th November – nearly 2 months ago (!) – I’ve lost 7lbs. When I look at that compared to my August-November journey, I’m gutted. I rue all of the times I haven’t food optimised, or the times I’ve snuck in extra syns, or the times I’ve told myself ‘have a treat, you deserve it’. On average I’ve lost 2-3lbs a week since starting, so I feel like a failure for not keeping that up for the past 6 weeks or so.
Or, at least, I did. Until I compared a picture of me on New Years Day 2017 to the above picture, and to a photo from my proudest moment back in April: collecting an award I’d worked towards all year at a Football League event. Only when I look at this side by side comparison do I stop and give myself some credit! Only when it’s staring me in the face do I actually feel proud of myself and see how far I’ve come. Which is why I’m writing this post….
When I was single I’d have loved someone to give me a compliment or tell me what I was wearing looked nice. Now, I have an incredibly handsome man by my side (who dated me, asked me out, and cared about me long before I joined SW), yet when HE told me repeatedly I looked incredible on New Years Eve, and said something along the lines of “people are going to think I’m punching well above my weight”, despite the fact he’s not the most forthcoming with his feelings, I brushed it away, in my head telling myself “he has to say that”. Whats more, when two guys (admittedly, drunk) walked past us in the street and openly told my other half to ‘hang on to her’, I laughed it away and thought nothing of it.
It was only on New Years Day, when i pulled on a new t-shirt and jacket with ease in sizes I could have only wished of buying for my summer holiday last year, that I thought to take a photo and have a look at the difference, and, the more I look at it, the more I beat myself up for not realising how bloody hard I’ve worked.
Yes – I’ve “only” lost 7lbs in the past two months or so, but – hang on a minute – I’ve also got through Christmas with only a 1lb weight gain, despite spending a few days off plan, at my partner’s parents house where food choices were totally out of my control. And, in the spirit of being honest for the New Year, I did enjoy myself to the tune of a mince-pie or 2, several snowballs, several more rum and pepsi max’s, a large helping of christmas pudding and custard, a larger helping of chocolate cake with the thickest icing you’ve ever seen and a fairly good stab at polishing off a box of roses single-handedly.
I’ve also been to Munich, home of beer and bratwurst, in December, where I spent 4 glorious days off plan and ate myself silly to the point of nearly being sick. I maintained that week!
So…this is my call to anyone reading this to stop and give yourself some credit. Yes, it’s the New Year, and our media is awash with adverts for fad diet products, juicers, gyms etc, but take a look back at what you’ve really achieved. I’m confident there have been plenty of times you’ve said ‘no’, or plenty of times you’ve made a far healthier choice than you would have made x months ago. Before you make any resolutions or set any goals for the New Year, why not take a look at where you are now? Who knows, it might inspire you by making you realise just how much you CAN achieve.